Break Free from Imposter Syndrome and Own Your Power

If you’ve ever felt like an imposter in your own success story, you’re not alone—and you’re not broken. In my latest episode of The Amanda Kaufman Show, I had the absolute joy of sitting down with Jen Coken, and let me tell you… this conversation was different. It wasn’t hype. It wasn’t fluff. It was one of the most honest, real, and empowering conversations I’ve had with a fellow coach who gets it.

Jen is a powerhouse. She's an executive coach, a speaker, a best-selling author, and yes—even a stand-up comic. But what I love most about Jen isn’t just her resume. It’s how deeply she cares. She’s built a thriving, multi-six-figure business not through slick funnels or online fame—but through real, human connection. And in a world that constantly tells us to “scale fast” or “go viral,” that is such a breath of fresh air.

Imposter Syndrome: The Quiet Saboteur

Early in her business, Jen described something I know so many of us can relate to—hiding under the covers, even while coaching enterprise clients. On the outside, things looked great. On the inside? She was battling that creeping feeling that maybe she wasn’t good enough.

Sound familiar?

We often think imposter syndrome is a sign of inexperience, but the truth is, it shows up the more successful you become. The stakes get higher. The visibility increases. And suddenly, you’re wondering if you can live up to your own ambition.

What Jen shared is that imposter syndrome doesn’t go away because you check more boxes. It starts to dissolve when you come back to who you really are. When you stop trying to prove yourself, and start showing up in full integrity.

Why Stillness is a Strategy

One of my favorite moments in our conversation was when Jen talked about what she calls “thinking time”—literally sitting on the couch, staring out the window, sometimes with a Twinkie in hand. And I laughed, but I also nodded hard, because yes. That space, that quiet, that break from the noise… that’s where clarity lives.

We live in a world that rewards constant doing, constant sharing, constant chasing. But if your calendar is packed and your brain is buzzing 24/7, how can you ever hear your own wisdom?

Jen’s reminder is simple: Your best ideas don’t come from grinding. They come when you slow down enough to listen.

Building a Business Without Losing Yourself

If you’re a coach or creative, you’ve probably felt the pull to “be everywhere.” Social media, funnels, email sequences, ads—it can be exhausting. And Jen? She skipped all that.

Instead, she focused on real relationships. Delivering real value. Creating containers where clients feel seen, heard, and transformed. And that’s how she built something sustainable—not just profitable.

She didn’t scale by burning herself out. She scaled by serving deeper.

And that gave me chills, because that’s exactly what we believe here in The Coaches Plaza. Connection before conversion. Impact before image. Real relationships that last longer than a launch.

The Power of Presence

Another gem from our conversation? Presence. Jen works with high-achieving women in male-dominated industries—finance, STEM, tech—and helps them develop unapologetic authority. And here’s what that really means:

It’s not about being louder. It’s about being clearer.

It’s not about being perfect. It’s about being you.

So many of us have been conditioned to shrink, edit, or polish ourselves into something more “palatable.” But what if you stopped trying to fit in… and started showing up fully?

When you do, people notice. Because presence speaks louder than performance.

How You Make People Feel

To wrap it up, there’s something Jen said that I want to tattoo on my brain. She said:

“It’s not really about what you say. It’s about how you make people feel… Are you leaving them bigger than they were before they got on the call with you?”

That, right there, is the measure of our work.

Whether you’re coaching, leading, teaching, or just trying to make a difference in your world—ask yourself: Am I leaving people bigger? More confident? More seen?

Because that’s the real flex. That’s the kind of impact that compounds. That’s how you build a business that actually changes lives.

Final Thoughts

This conversation reminded me of something I want every coach to know:

You don’t have to be flashy to be powerful. You don’t have to go viral to be valuable. And you sure as heck don’t need to be perfect to be effective.

You just need to show up, in your truth, again and again.

So if you’re ready to build a coaching business rooted in relationship, integrity, and real impact—go listen to this episode. It’s packed with truth, wisdom, and a whole lot of heart.

🎧 Catch the episode now, and let it remind you who you are.

Until next time, keep doing what matters.
Amanda

Chapters List

00:00 Introduction to Jen Coken and Her Journey

02:05 Building Relationships in Coaching

05:26 Agility and Adaptability in Coaching

09:36 Finding Proximity with Leaders

13:40 The Importance of Presence and First Impressions

18:34 The Impact of Authenticity in Coaching

Full Transcript

Jen Coken (00:00)

It's not really about what you say. It's about how you make people feel. Are you leaving them bigger than they were before they got on the call with you,

Amanda Kaufman (00:00)

That's it.

Well, hey, hey, welcome back to the Amanda Kaufman show. Today, I'm so excited to welcome my friend, Jen Coken to the show. And on a personal note, the reason I'm so excited is because as I got to know Jen better, I realized, whoa, this is not just a coach. This is somebody who has quite a bit of experience in our industry, coaching people in all kinds of different ways. She's successfully hung her own shingle as a coach.

She's an executive coach, she's a speaker, she is a best-selling author, and she helps women in male-dominated industries ditch imposter syndrome and lead with unapologetic authority. And she has over 25 years of experience as a coach, which is an amazing thing. And she has worked from grassroots political strategy to the C-suite. She works with high-achieving women, particularly in STEM and finance and technology, to own their power.

and their influence without feeling like they have to sell their souls to do so. She's funny, which makes sense because she happens to be a standup comic, which means she brings humor and honesty to the toughest of the leadership conversations. And she's built a multi-six figure coaching business without relying on social media fame or complex funnels. She does it by just delivering results.

and having real relationships, which is exactly what we preach here in the coaches Plaza is the absolute foundation of a successful coaching business. can do fancy funnels, but if you don't have a core of connection and relationship, then I would say don't bother. she is a master at flipping your fear into fuel. And if you're looking to grow your business and design the impact that you want to have, you definitely want to listen to this episode because

She has so much presence. helps you feel and remember the permission that you have to move through this world powerfully. And she's gonna change how you show up for yourself, your clients, and those that you're influencing. Jen, welcome to the show.

Jen Coken (02:32)

my gosh, I'm a little bit clumped. Thank you so much, Amanda. I'm so excited to be here and so happy to be getting to know you better and being on the show and providing what I can for the coaches out there.

Amanda Kaufman (02:44)

love it, is not common for a coach to have the experience that you have. I was doing some research recently for my own company, and I found a statistic that 80 % of coaches fold up their business by the time they get to year three. 80%. So it's like one in five make it past the third year. So you have, obviously, the full duration of your coaching career experience, but you then turned around and built a six-figure business.

Jen Coken (03:00)

Whoa!

Amanda Kaufman (03:12)

that's been around for 10 years. So I just have to ask right off the bat, what's your secret? What do you do differently than the other four coaches? Yes.

Jen Coken (03:14)

Yeah.

What's my secret? ⁓ man, if I knew.

Well, I think you hit on when you were in, I think there's a couple of things, my secrets. Number one, I'm out to build relationships. This is not about churn and burn, right? So many programs, you get a ton of people in there. I I've heard about even group sessions that have hundreds of people in there. I have always had my eye on how do I make a difference for this person in front of me?

And so when I've been coaching in containers, know, six month, like group containers, I've never wanted them to be big because I would lose my ability to personally connect with people and personally coach people. So I think it's all about relationships. It's about building those relationships. I've had repeat clients, I've had referral clients. Oftentimes, here's the other piece of it. And maybe...

maybe this is one of my secrets, but it's interesting because I'm coming to it as we're talking, which is it's not just for me about coaching people one-on-one. Because I typically target, I don't like that word because then I feel like people have a target on their back. I typically serve women in the C-suite. When I do that, once we start working together, often they'll say like, man, my CFO could really use to work with you.

or my team, and so a lot of the times those one-on-one engagements turn into a package with a company. So one of the things, the other secret is I've been agile. When people need something, I develop the program to go with it. And I think the other, that's such a great question, I could go 57 minutes here, but I won't. So I think number one, service, being of service.

providing true value, number two, having a package that's next for that one-on-one client that will impact that company. That's really what I love doing is creating company cultures where people love showing up to work. But I've always said the fish stinks at the head. So we gotta start with the person who's in the C-suite. So that's the other one. And then being agile, being able to sit back and think about what's needed and wanted, what am I hearing?

You know, like you, I've done a lot of research, a lot of conversations. And in the agility, it's also being willing to shift and shape change. The coaching I offer now is zero like the coaching I offered when I opened my doors in 2016. And it's not even anything like what I was offering in 2019. And in fact, the coaching I'm offering now is very different than what I was offering last year.

Amanda Kaufman (05:44)

Yeah.

I was gonna say, mean, five years from now, you're probably gonna have something that looks different. you clearly also seem to value curiosity and learning and being open to new experiences as well.

Jen Coken (06:08)

It's very true, but the one thing I have to be careful of, this is number one because the assessment I use is CliftonStrengths, and one of my top strengths is strategic, which means that I'm always seeing patterns and data and numbers, and I consistently want to shift course. That's a problem. If you're an entrepreneur as a coach, if you're a coach developing your products, I'll say your persona, like how you come across in public.

And my public persona is no different than what people see on social media. And people have said that to me all the time. my god, you sound just like you write. You sound just like I see you on your website. And I always think, that'd be weird if I didn't. So we started with curiosity, right? I got off on a little tangent. And where do we go from there? As I lose my train of thought.

Amanda Kaufman (06:56)

Well, my observation was simply that because of that agile perspective, interesting word choice. When you say agile, do you mean like literally the principles of agile planning? What does that mean to somebody who's maybe not familiar with the term?

Jen Coken (07:03)

Right.

No. ⁓

For me, is having, you know, I'm an athlete. So having agility, being agile, you know, I work my muscles. I was a former rugby player in college and then was an endurance cyclist for a long time. And now I'm making sure that I stay flexible, agile, right? Being able to move with the times. I began using AI two years ago to start shaping things and forming things because I, and AI is never going to replace coaching.

But I think my point in saying all that is you gotta try something for at least six months. And sometimes I will run off to figure out that next shiny object or the curiosity can bite me in the butt because I listen to too many other people and look at what they're doing rather than trusting my own gut instinct. And that has gotten me into trouble.

Amanda Kaufman (07:59)

Mm-hmm. Yes. And you know a lot of my my own coaching I work with a lot of high performers and high achievers and That tendency to want to shift and switch tracks It's a delicate balance isn't it right because Staying really committed to the goal. I always think of it as you know Here's the puzzle that I'm on for at least the next three months. I love how you're saying like six months however, that doesn't mean that every day I'm just

doing the same thing necessarily. I try to like break it down into these little tests, little things that I'm gonna do over and over and over again to actually learn something new so I can do something new. But to let all that learning unfold usually does take some time. And a lot of these programs that you're talking about, I recently made a change, well not that recently now that I think about it, it was actually about two years ago.

I changed my group coaching program where I help coaches to launch their business to be a year of access, community-based, with more of a Netflix presentation of the curriculum content that I offer. So then when you're going through that, like, whenever I'm working with somebody, maybe they're struggling the most with their market message match.

Or maybe they're struggling the most with, what do I do when I get into the sales call? Because I'm getting a lot of people that are having conversations with me, but they're like, okay, bye, right? And I'm not getting any clients. And so because everybody's at this different stage, it's really more of an agile designed program where we are partnering with you to say, okay, right now you're focused on the sales. Let's start with the sales curriculum, let's start with sales goals. And we can customize that to anybody who's going through the program.

And I think that that's a way that a lot of coaching programs and methodologies is probably going to go in terms of being able to meet people where they really are. So one question I have for you that I'm sure a lot of our listeners would probably have is, how do you get into proximity with these leaders? you know, like what would you say to somebody who is maybe...

transitioning out of corporate and used to the corporation giving them all their relationships or maybe they were just very introverted as a coach. They're amazing in the session, but meeting people, scary stuff. So how do you do it?

Jen Coken (10:10)

Right.

Yeah, I want to say something, then I'm going to answer that. The other piece that's incredibly important that you kind of rift around the edges, thinking time. I call it staring out the window time. Sitting on the couch and eating a Twinkie. You've got to put that in your calendar. Because some of my best ideas had come from me just finishing meditating and then staring out the window. And people are like, meditation, mindfulness, why? Because that quiets your flipping mind, people.

So you can listen to your internal voice and your internal knowing because you actually know exactly the direction to go. It's just the world's way too loud and your mind is way too loud. So definitely give yourself thinking time. That's how come things have shifted. How do I meet people? Well, I think for each person it's a little bit distinct, but in the beginning it was all referral-based businesses, referral-based, and a lot of the leads I get are speaking because I love speaking, as you said.

I was a stand-up comedian. I'm involved in my local theater. I was in politics for 25 years. The reason I've been a coach around as long as I have is because I used to lead as a volunteer for a big international personal growth and development company. So I was on a stage every week in front of 150 people getting trained. So for me, speaking and being in public is my sweet spot. A lot of people, it's not.

that's okay, maybe it is a podcast, maybe it is going to a networking event. And now that I am in the town that I'm in, in Maryland, my commitment is to get more engaged with the local community. And so one of the things I'll be doing is there's a Society of HR Manager conference here in Maryland. I'm gonna be going to that. I joined my local, I joined Sherman, went to my local conference because I wanted to get to know people. I was the keynote speaker to.

years in a row. I got clients out of that. So it really is and you know clients come from every direction you just don't know and while it kind of does suck you have to be you have to be on your personal best no matter where you go and you have to have your 30 and why I say it sucks is I'm not the girl that does my hair and makeup every day. I'm a person who's seen 84 Grateful Dead shows. I am a hippie at heart, barefoot in the grass.

My hair used to be down in my waist, you know what I mean? So however looking presentable and also having the way you speak about yourself, you speak and hold yourself representative of your company because people are going to pay attention. I coach executives around what it is to have executive presence and senior leaders because I have practiced that. So I help people figure out how to have the kind of presence when you enter a room, people notice and they lean in and wanna hear what you have to say.

And that doesn't always mean I talk a lot. A lot of times I'm the observer. I am the person who kind of sits back, listens, takes it in. That's also part of my strategic strength because I can hear patterns and data. And I was always the one in a meeting where I would hear all these different people arguing back, it's politics for God's sakes, like, I think we're all saying the same thing. Don't we want to, what about this? How'd you get that? I didn't know until I did the CliftonStrengths assessment.

So in terms of finding the leads, conferences, networking, don't be afraid to ask for referrals from current clients. If you're just starting out, ask to coach people for free and provide you a testimonial, and then ask them, do you know anybody else that could benefit from the work we did together? When I first started coaching, I had three month packages. I now have six month packages. That goes for my group containers and one-on-one.

Now I'm shying away from one-on-one and going more toward group and B2B because it's just the nature of where I'm headed in that agile persona.

Amanda Kaufman (14:07)

Love that. Love it. Such good wisdom there. You know, on the whole makeup thing, I think like when I started my business about 10 years ago, I had this big, I guess, backlash kind of moment internally where it was like, I want to be an entrepreneur. I want to have freedom. I don't want to have to wear the Calvin Klein. I don't want to have to do the hair. I don't want to wear high heels all day. I still don't wear high heels all that often.

Jen Coken (14:31)

Sneakers, baby.

Amanda Kaufman (14:32)

Right. It's like I'm doing this because I want to honor my freedom. And lately, I don't know if you're familiar with Cody Sanchez. She's a influencer and she teaches you how to build a business by buying successful businesses. And she's been talking a lot lately about a really fascinating study that came out. And I and I checked it out. I'm like, oh, man. OK. And it was talking about the impact of grooming and appearance.

And they looked at men and women and they found that like if men pay attention to their grooming and their wardrobe and everything, they can expect to increase their income by 15%. For women, 30%. 30%, yeah. And I was like, really? So now in the makeup and how do I present myself kind of away, congruency is super important and authenticity totally in.

Jen Coken (15:18)

Really?

Amanda Kaufman (15:29)

Like I never want to feel forced. But I also am like, I also like 30 % more for a little bit of that effort. So I've been, you know, I was definitely at a crossroads of considering it. But yeah, it just came to my mind. I was like, you know, that first impression makes a difference.

Jen Coken (15:30)

Absolutely.

Yeah, so that's a good point, but I think, yeah.

But I think what's

important is that you're not sitting there like I would never, I love people who get the eyelashes put on because I think it looks gorgeous. I am such a, what's that?

Amanda Kaufman (15:55)

I tried and I'm allergic.

I tried and I'm allergic.

Jen Coken (16:00)

Well, I'm sure I am too, but more than that, I can't even grow my nails long because I will stab my eye trying to take out my contact. And that's all I could think about is I would be like the one who would be like have a jail, you know, over my eye as the eyelid. And once upon a time, my eyes are so tiny, once upon a time, a good friend who's big into fashion, she was like, I'm gonna show you how to put on fake eyelashes. I said, okay, so we're at this conference and we're sharing an Airbnb with some other girls. She's like, okay, we're gonna go up to the bathroom.

So we're sitting there and she's watching me. She's like, it looks great. And I turned to her and the eyelash was all the way over here because you have to like trim them. Like, yeah, that's not happening. So this, mean, this is me. If I am going on stage to speak, will hire someone to do my makeup. And sometimes I will hire someone to do my hair because I'm just not that good at it. But regular everyday makeup for something like this or if I'm coaching somebody, I will do. But I also don't shy away from throwing on the baseball hat after working out.

Because if I want to go live on Facebook or LinkedIn or whatever, I'm okay with that. But now you got me thinking. Maybe a little eye shadow. I don't know.

Amanda Kaufman (17:04)

Yeah, it's so funny. It's

like there's all these little micro things that we can do to enhance our success and I love it.

Jen Coken (17:11)

But one thing, one thing, I

hate that. I hate that it's 30 % for women and 15 % for men because it speaks to the double stupid standard all the time.

Amanda Kaufman (17:17)

Also, yes.

Right? that was one of the whole reasons why when I was starting out, it was like no makeup ever. Like, I don't worry about it. And I've put like literally tens of thousands of dollars behind ads where I'm like, no makeup, just came in from a run, just saying what's on my heart. So I've definitely done it and benefited from it. And then you look at people like Alex Hermosy, who he always has a really long

beard and he has like the the long hair and he intentionally picks an outfit that allows him to go to the gym, go to work, you know, walk around at home and walk into a restaurant. And you're just like, whoa, you know, he's very paradigm shifting in terms of the level of cash. But he's also done like really incredible stuff. So it's kind of like, OK, if you're just starting out and you're building that credibility and you're you know, you can make things a little inadvertently harder on yourself, I think.

Jen Coken (18:07)

Yeah, but.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Amanda Kaufman (18:15)

⁓

when you, when people don't yet know you and don't yet know what to expect, it's easy to get dismissed for bad reasons. I agree with you. Like, I don't think whether you wear makeup or not should, should make a difference, but I'll also tell you from my marketing metrics, it does, you know, when it, when, when I wear red glasses versus my clear glasses, it literally makes a difference, which is just wild to me. But that's just the, it's, I think it's the more animal side of human attention.

Jen Coken (18:36)

Wow. Wow. ⁓

Amanda Kaufman (18:42)

We like to give a lot of credit to the prefrontal cortex, but there's a lot that subconsciously goes on when people are connecting with you, whether it's in person or in your content and so on. just my new view of it is how do you honor that and at the same time, you know, forward and progress, right?

Jen Coken (19:01)

and feel comfortable in your own skin because, you know, I have never, I've worn dresses, but I am way more comfortable in pantsuits and cool sneakers. You know, that's just kind of my, or boots, because number one, my knees are shot. Like I really do need two knee replacements, but I've been putting it off and putting it off. And I've known that for 20 years. However, to put me in some like hot pink debutante, it just wouldn't be me.

Amanda Kaufman (19:03)

That's it.

Jen Coken (19:27)

right, but a nice velvet red suit with some cool kicks or, you know, I will wear small heels. That kind of a thing is good, but you got to figure out what works for you because you don't, if you feel uncomfortable in the getup and whatever you're wearing, and this goes for guys too, if you feel uncomfortable wearing a suit and everyone's saying you really need to wear a suit to present to corporate, no you don't.

Find the thing that works for you. You can try different things because you want to feel comfortable in it. You don't want to be somebody you're not.

Amanda Kaufman (19:58)

And that's the whole thing too is like, we're talking about a 30 % increase based on their scientific study. Maybe you're okay with doing 30 % a little bit more presence or 30 % a little bit more networking or 30 % a little bit more follow-up so that you can still honor all of that. Like that was really the decision that I made around it is that it's like, look, if I lost 100 pounds,

I'm sure that that would have an impact on the first impression, which would make everything downstream a little bit easier. And also, I'm not gonna starve myself. I'm not gonna do it in unhealthy ways. There's reasons that I am where I am with that. And if I can honor my own growth and progress towards something like the weight loss, for example, just as like one of many examples of things that I work on in my own life, I look at that as a coach as like, good.

good that you have things that you that you are working on on your own terms with your own support system that adds to your credibility as a coach in my view versus being this Pollyanna perfect version that and if your name is Pollyanna, I'm sorry for being so insulting. But seriously, like if you were just like this very perfect plastic version, the depth of the relationship that you can expect from someone on the basis of your looks alone is like don't expect that.

Jen Coken (20:51)

Yep. Yep.

Amanda Kaufman (21:16)

And I think like there's a lot of people who actually really do present very well that they have to deal with a lot of BS, right? On the basis of that as well. So it's like, you you choose your battles and you're gonna have battles no matter what as you build this business and you're growing. thyself, know thyself as you walk your own path.

Jen Coken (21:24)

Yeah. Yep.

Yeah,

absolutely. And it me think of two things. One is the phrase, people aren't going to remember what you said. They're going remember how you made them feel. And that's incredibly important. And secondly, I remember being at a conference a number of years ago, and one of the women that I was at the conference with saw one of the keynote speakers who is her idol. She's been idolizing this woman for seven or eight years. She walked up to her to say hi, and that woman was so incredibly rude to her.

She walked away devastated. So I don't think any of your listeners would be this way, but it, you know, it, she's never going to follow that person again. She's never going to buy from that person again. She's never, she couldn't even go in to watch her speak because she didn't want to hear anything she said. So just remember, even if you get caught off guard at the grocery store in your workout gear with a hat on, people aren't going to remember what you say. They're always going to remember how you make them feel. And by the by, that's the same with coaching.

It's not really about what you say. It's about how you make people feel. Are you leaving them bigger than they were before they got on the call with you, on the Zoom with you, in the room with you? Are you leaving them bigger with a greater sense of self, a greater sense of purpose, mission, clarity, inspiration? If you're not, shame on you. That's really the one thing you wanna worry about.

Amanda Kaufman (22:28)

That's it.

I love that. That's so succinct and it's easy to remember, regardless of what kind of coaching you do. That's advice that we can all carry with us. So Jen, if people wanted to follow you, catch up with you, learn from you, what's the best next step for them to do that?

Jen Coken (23:08)

Yeah, so I would say I have a awesome quiz for people to take on imposter syndrome. Because as a coach, there was a moment where I was under the covers coaching with a big enterprise level company. If I wasn't out in the field coaching their leaders, I was under the covers because I had such a hard time when I went into business for myself 10 years ago. And so this quiz will give you a sense of where imposter syndrome.

And if you don't know what I'm talking about, which some people don't, any place you question or doubt yourself, okay? If you go to jencokenquiz.com, J-E-N-C-O-K-E-N quiz, I think you know how to spell that, .com, you'll take the quiz, you'll get a report, and then you'll get some follow-up emails from me and on my newsletter list, which I send out weekly, leadership, emails on leadership, unsubscribe when you want to, totally fine, I won't take it personally.

Amanda Kaufman (24:03)

it and I doubt that they will want to unsubscribe because you've got some really wonderful wisdom. Dear listener, thank you so much for joining us and Jen, thank you so much for taking the time today.

Jen Coken (24:14)

my gosh, I was so happy to be here. And by the by, if you don't want to take the quiz and you just want to hang out with me on LinkedIn, that's my playground. Look me up, connect with me, DM me. Let's chat.

Amanda Kaufman (24:24)

Yes, we've got all of Jen's links in the show notes below. before you go, make sure you smash that subscribe button so that we don't miss another episode. And if you found this to be inspiring, uplifting, and forward thinking, make sure that you grab the link and share it with three of your friends. You can send it to them on text message or DM. And if you do have an extra 30 seconds, we always appreciate an honest review.

It helps listeners decide whether they want to spend time with us. So if you learn something, share that something in your review and until the next episode, do what matters. We'll see you very soon.