The Power of Connection: Why Relationships Beat Algorithms Every Time
The Power of Connection: Why Relationships Beat Algorithms Every Time
In today’s fast-paced, tech-driven world, it’s easy to fall into the trap of chasing metrics and algorithms. But for coaches and entrepreneurs, there’s a deeper truth: genuine relationships and authenticity will always outweigh the superficial allure of numbers.
On a recent episode of The Amanda Kaufman Show, we sat down with Dane Boyle, a seasoned coach with over 30 years of experience, to explore how authenticity and connection have shaped his life and career. From his approach to social media to his emphasis on personal growth, Dane’s insights offer a roadmap for anyone looking to create a meaningful impact in their business.
Authenticity: The Foundation of Connection
One of the most powerful takeaways from the conversation with Dane is the importance of authenticity. For many, the thought of showing up online, imperfections and all, can feel daunting. But Dane emphasizes that it’s these very imperfections that create meaningful connections.
“I had to learn to just show up as myself, broken pieces and all,” Dane shared. “People appreciate authenticity because it’s relatable. It’s what makes us human.”
Dane’s approach is rooted in the belief that being genuine isn’t just a strategy—it’s a way of life. Whether he’s sharing stories of past struggles or posting about his daily life, Dane connects with his audience by being unapologetically himself.
The Journey to Authenticity
Dane’s journey to authenticity began long before social media was a part of the conversation. Inspired by his father, a physician who valued people over profits, Dane learned that the most important real estate anyone owns is the “six inches between your ears.”
This early lesson shaped Dane’s philosophy as a coach and mentor. Over time, he realized that helping people embrace their true selves—gray hairs, scars, and all—was the key to unlocking their potential.
“It’s about aging with awesomeness,” Dane said. “Embracing every part of who you are and stepping into that fully.”
Navigating Social Media with Purpose
Social media often feels like a double-edged sword. On one hand, it’s a powerful tool for connection. On the other, it can become a source of pressure to curate a perfect image. Dane’s advice? Be selective about what you share, but don’t hold back your authenticity.
“You don’t have to share the gory details of your life,” Dane explained. “It’s like a movie. You can hint at the story without showing everything. Share the lesson, not the wound.”
This balanced approach allows Dane to remain authentic without oversharing. By focusing on what he calls “being authentically social,” Dane creates content that resonates deeply with his audience while respecting his boundaries.
Why Relationships Beat Algorithms
For Dane, the true power of social media lies in building genuine relationships. “Relationships beat algorithms every time,” he said. “It’s not about chasing likes or views—it’s about making real connections.”
Dane’s marketing strategy revolves around this principle. Every day, he sends a personal “Daily Danish” message to hundreds of people, sharing his thoughts, insights, and encouragement. While it’s time-intensive, the responses he receives make it worthwhile.
“It’s about starting conversations and building trust,” Dane said. “When you connect with people on a deeper level, they become more than just clients—they become part of your community.”
The Importance of Systems and Iteration
While authenticity and connection are crucial, Dane also emphasizes the need for systems to support growth. “Marketing isn’t about finding a silver bullet—it’s a skill and an iterative process,” he explained.
For Dane, this means documenting his efforts, analyzing what works, and continuously refining his approach. “I look at my top-performing content and my least successful posts each month. By focusing on what resonates, I can improve over time,” he said.
Amanda Kaufman added her own insights to this conversation, noting that systems should align with your capacity and ambition. “Your systems will evolve as you grow,” Amanda said. “The key is to create a process that works for where you are today while keeping an eye on where you want to go.”
Investing in Personal Growth
Another cornerstone of Dane’s philosophy is the importance of investing in personal growth. “You can’t pour from an empty cup,” Dane said. “To be a great coach, you need to prioritize your own mental, emotional, and physical health.”
For Dane, this means committing to daily practices like exercise, prayer, and reflection. It also means seeking out mentorship and learning opportunities to continue growing as a coach.
“If you’re asking people to invest in you as a coach, you should be investing in yourself,” Dane said. “Find someone who’s a step or two ahead of you and learn from them.”
Takeaways for Coaches and Entrepreneurs
The conversation with Dane Boyle was packed with valuable insights for coaches and entrepreneurs alike. Here are three key takeaways to implement in your own business:
Show Up Authentically
Don’t let fear hold you back from being yourself. Authenticity isn’t about sharing everything—it’s about being genuine in what you do choose to share.Focus on Relationships, Not Algorithms
Social media is a tool for connection, not a popularity contest. Prioritize building trust and starting conversations over chasing metrics.Invest in Systems and Personal Growth
Success doesn’t happen overnight. Build systems that align with your current capacity and commit to continuous improvement.
Final Thoughts
Dane Boyle’s approach to coaching is a reminder that true success comes from showing up authentically, building meaningful connections, and investing in your own growth. By focusing on relationships over algorithms and committing to the iterative process of improvement, you can create a business that not only succeeds but also resonates deeply with the people you serve.
Want to learn more? Tune into the full episode of The Amanda Kaufman Show featuring Dane Boyle for even more inspiration and actionable advice.
Connect with Dane Boyle
📌 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/dane.boyle.1
📌 Instagram: https://tinyurl.com/9yt3w29a
📌 TikTok: https://tinyurl.com/5dr2shy9
📌 YouTube: https://tinyurl.com/3fwhnre3
📌 Website: daneboyle.com
📕 Want our free Thrive & Scale Expert Blueprint? Grab your copy here: https://thecoachesplaza.com/the-thrive-and-scale-blueprint
🎙️ Podcast: Dive deep into success strategies with The Amanda Kaufman Show Listen here: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-amanda-kaufman-show/id1450993176
📺 YouTube: Watch our latest episodes and coaching tips on our channel Subscribe here: https://www.youtube.com/@theamandakaufmanshow
📸 Instagram: Follow Amanda for daily motivation and behind-the-scenes content Follow here: https://www.instagram.com/theamandakaufman
💼 LinkedIn: Connect and follow here: https://www.linkedin.com/in/amandackaufman/
👥 Facebook: Join The Coaches That Don't Suck Free Facebook Group Join here: https://www.facebook.com/groups/thecoachsplaza
Full Transcript
Dane Boyle (00:00)
the idea is I want you to know why you chose to be an entrepreneur, because we all get in thinking we're gonna have all this great free time, we're all gonna be bazillionaires. oftentimes you realize there really are seven days a week, and there are potentially 24 hours a day if you're not careful.
Amanda Kaufman (00:14)
Well, hello and welcome back to the Amanda Kaufman show. We're continuing our series on coaches that don't suck. And another coach who does not suck is Dane Boyle. Dane, welcome to the show.
Dane Boyle (00:22)
I that.
Thank you so much and I like being honored by a coach that doesn't suck.
Amanda Kaufman (00:32)
Love it. Love it. Well, Dane, I invited you to the podcast. Yes, because you you raised your hand and said you'd be interested. But I was really excited to have you here because I've noticed your social media presence. You know, we're buddies on Facebook and you are you are prolific in your content. You create quite a bit, but you are also extremely engaging in your content.
And that's something that I really appreciate, because I think a lot of coaches are very scared to just show up as their full selves everywhere, including social media. And I really get the sense that you're one of those people that has worked past that. Yeah.
Dane Boyle (01:10)
Yeah, for sure. tell you where that epiphany was, but it was like you just have to be genuine. And just the other day, I was in a conversation on a one-on-one with a client and I kind of lost track of what I was talking about. I'm like, dang it. I said, I guess I'm human. And she goes, that's what I like about you is you just show up in all your broken pieces and do the best that you pardon me, the best you can do.
Amanda Kaufman (01:34)
I love that, I love that. I have something more on this very thing, but before we go any further, Dane, can you just take 30 seconds and introduce yourself so people kind of know your background, what you're about and why you're here?
Dane Boyle (01:39)
Okay.
For sure, like you said, my name is Dane Boyle. I've been in the coaching space for over 30 years. was an athlete, I didn't really know this is where I was gonna go, right? I went in the military, got married young, I still have three children, they're all adults now, but I watched my father as a physician literally do people over profits.
Amanda Kaufman (01:58)
Right.
Dane Boyle (02:09)
And I watched him do that. I think part of that is because he didn't become a physician until he was 35. I was in eighth grade. So I watched him do it and I watched him connect with people. And the one thing he always said was the most important real estate we own is the six inches between your ears. And. And so I went back to college. I have a graduate degree and then I got into adult fitness, to be honest with you first. And then people said you should go to life coaching school. You kind of do it anyway.
Amanda Kaufman (02:25)
that's a golden nugget. I love that.
Dane Boyle (02:39)
And I, again, taking back to what dad said several years ago, I'm fascinated with the six inches between your ears. And when we can dive into that and your insecurities and let you show up as your authentic self, you can grow. And ultimately my mission is to help people join the movement to age with awesomeness, to embrace every gray hair, every wrinkle, every scar, and just love it and step into it. Thanks.
Amanda Kaufman (03:02)
Dude, I love this. Dude, I love this. OK, so we're going just so that everybody knows what's happening right now. We're moving from being Facebook.
friends to friend friends. is this super cool. Yeah, I love it. I love it. You're talking about authenticity and everything and it just prompted like a little quick anecdote from yesterday. I was so every Monday I do a live stream at 9am Central. So, you know, anybody who's following me, if you're on Instagram, if you're on the YouTubes, you know, definitely come check that out because I do I do share a topic but I do free coaching right live on Instagram, which is just like so fun. So anyway, I
Dane Boyle (03:13)
Okay, there you go.
you
Right?
Amanda Kaufman (03:41)
Being the tech genius that I am, I decided to simulcast, which means I'm broadcasting to the Instagram, the YouTube, the Facebook and the LinkedIn simultaneously. Very fancy, very advanced strategy. And I posted to my Instagram yesterday this one story that literally gave me like.
Dane Boyle (03:53)
Peace.
Amanda Kaufman (04:02)
10x the number of replies that I normally get and and it was that I shared that although I simulcasted I was on mute for 30 minutes and then I had a laugh about it and I said okay time for a checklist I see the spot on my wall where that checklist has got to go and I just thought that that was so telling that you we put so much pressure to be perfect
Dane Boyle (04:04)
nice.
you
Amanda Kaufman (04:23)
on ourselves and I'm a human being. I kind of run through the same thing, but I think like me sharing mistakes, it honestly does get like 10 % the response. And I'm curious, like, tell me a little bit more about this breakthrough that you had about being authentic online, because I think this is a thread I really, really want to pull because a lot of coaches struggle with this.
Dane Boyle (04:27)
for sure.
Well, it's how I coach too. It's one of those things that, so I've been much heavier in my lifetime, et cetera, et And when I started posting pictures about the unhealthy version of Dane, people were like, well, you bring street cred to showing up as yourself and deciding, look, I wanna live longer. I'm a grandfather now. I wanna play on the playground. I wanna do all these things. And I...
Amanda Kaufman (05:06)
Aww.
Dane Boyle (05:10)
I just decided I just have to be me, not fake. Like I thought about because it's being recorded, do I put on a collar shirt? No, I wear these kind of like sun shirts all the time. I live also down at the Texas Gulf Coast and it's just who I am. And I always wear a backwards baseball hat. Yeah. Do you live in Texas? We'll have to talk. I was in, I was in McKinney over the weekend. We could have gotten together like, well, we'll do it again. I'm speaking in February, so in Dallas.
Amanda Kaufman (05:23)
You're Texan too? my god. Yeah, I'm in Fort Worth, Texas. you guys. Friendship unfolding.
We literally could have had lunch. my gosh.
Dane Boyle (05:40)
we'll definitely talk.
Amanda Kaufman (05:41)
Yeah, definitely, definitely let me know when you come down. So tell me more. Tell me more. I don't want to. Yes.
Dane Boyle (05:45)
But, okay, about authenticity. So I wanted to make sure that it's who I am. So many, many, years ago, I was going out to California. My sister lives in Northern California in the Bay Area. And she's like, you gotta brand yourself as you because people want to see you. And I was talking at dinner on Saturday with a friend that came to the Airbnb, made us this great Asian fusion meal. But I was just talking about different layers of coaching.
And he said, for me, for him, and it's always been the fact that it's the one-on-one connection. And that's it. And I want people to understand that and be genuine. Look, if you screw up, just own it. I did a video one time and I thought it was like the best content. I was on fire. I was sideways somehow, like the entire time. Like, what that? Or in my coaching group, we go live a lot just randomly around the house. My wife and I'll just be like, hey, today we're doing, the dog a bath. I don't know.
Amanda Kaufman (06:17)
Right.
I've had that one too.
Dane Boyle (06:42)
and just talking. I went to turn the camera around the other day and I hit, I turned it off. Instead of turning the camera around, I'm like, well, one of our things in our manifesto, in the Trailblazers, that's my group, is everybody's gonna blaze a trail that's never been there before and ask people to follow them, that we will not live a false filtered life.
Amanda Kaufman (07:02)
That's so good. That's so good.
Dane Boyle (07:04)
And even one of the girls said, but she wants to lift weight. She wants to use 52 and blah, But she doesn't want to be in the gym, which I'm not a big gym rat anyway. And I said, take your weights to the lake. You're there every day. She goes, well, people watch me. Who cares? Who cares? They may want to join you. Maybe you're the crazy weightlifting lady at the lake in Oklahoma. Who cares? Be as freaky, be as weird, be as genuine. Because there people just like you in the fitness world. There's a guy that does fitness.
Amanda Kaufman (07:17)
Yes.
Dane Boyle (07:33)
geeks or something like that, I know I screwed that up. But he loves Marvel. And he's like, there are men and women that love Marvel, why can't we be fit? I'm like, it's brilliant. It's not me, but it's brilliant. There's an audience for it. And if you serve everybody, you serve nobody. Again, if you serve everybody, you serve nobody. Go ahead.
Amanda Kaufman (07:50)
That's so true. That's so true. Yeah. And I'm actually really curious, like, what's your take on deciding what you do want to reveal versus being OK with not revealing something and then also still feeling authentic? Because, like, I feel like you've probably navigated this, and I've definitely got a take, but I want to hear yours.
Dane Boyle (08:14)
So it's interesting you say that. We don't need all the gory details of the fight with your mom. But you can still have an argument with your mom or your kids or your boss. It's kind of like a really sexy, hot movie scene. We can know what's going to happen, but we don't always have to actually see it happening. It's a prelude to it.
Amanda Kaufman (08:20)
Right, that just happened last night. Yeah.
Okay.
Got it, yeah.
Dane Boyle (08:42)
And then it can fade off to music and whatever, but it's the same thing on that. So my wife just had a pacemaker put in. She's relatively young. She battled low heart rate even as marathoners she did. And just the last six months, it's just not been good. And she went to a cardiologist and literally within 48 hours. So I waited for her to post that on Facebook. I actually asked her if I could share it. And she said, of course. But she shared it. And there's hundreds of.
Amanda Kaufman (08:50)
wow.
Ugh.
Whoa.
Dane Boyle (09:10)
likes, comments, et cetera. But she didn't have to talk about going to the surgery. She might later. She might talk about the fear. She might talk about that. But it was the idea to listen to your body first. Does that make sense? So the idea is we don't have to know all the gory details, but we have to know the idea of it.
Amanda Kaufman (09:19)
Right.
Yeah.
Yeah, I love that. I think the other like strategy that kind of came to my mind and thanks for sharing that story about your about your lovely bride, because.
I think we all have like this life and this private life. But I think what happens is we don't share anything because we're scared of sharing anything. And the truth is, is in life, you are going through it, you know, like you're actively participating. So let's say you had the big fight with your mom last night or, know, you just got fired, you know, or there's something that it's like right now, it's red hot, embarrassing. Like it's just you're still working through it. And I think of this as like it's an open wound.
It's not a scar.
And what I love to do and what I would generally recommend to people is become a journalist of your life. Like write down everything. You know, they call it journaling for a reason, but literally like document what happened, how you felt, how you responded, what you're thinking right now in this moment. And then put it on the shelf for a little bit because you don't want to go on social media red hot and say something
Dane Boyle (10:20)
Right.
Right?
Amanda Kaufman (10:36)
that you're not gonna be really proud of in six months. You know, that's kind of the standard. But that's different, I think, than being inauthentic. I think a lot of times we have all the, like, there's so much pressure to be authentic, I think it leads to a layer, a level of inauthenticity, because it's like, you know, is that your?
Dane Boyle (10:41)
Right?
Amanda Kaufman (10:57)
your truest and best self that's showing up on social media, you know, complaining about politics or complaining about your fight with your mom or whatever the thing is that's bothering you. Are you using social media to be this big venting place or are you using media to be authentically social? And if you kind of think about being authentically social, like you do decide not to share everything over drinks.
Dane Boyle (11:03)
All right.
Amanda Kaufman (11:24)
You know, like you do decide what you're going to showcase, you know. So when you're kind of going through your process, when you're, you know, connecting, you're marketing, you're selling, you're coaching, like talk to me a little bit about what your overall strategy is, if you don't mind.
Dane Boyle (11:25)
Right?
So number one, when somebody comes into my world, I want to build a relationship that's a foot wide and a mile deep. That's so important to me to connect and build relationships. And my coach, his tagline is that relationships beat algorithms.
It's again relationship beat algorithm. So it's always literally showing up your genuine self and I hear there's so much fear. There's fear of failure. There's fear of not doing what your mom, dad, brother, sister, and because we're in Texas, and your T.O., so your aunt and uncle, what they're gonna do. so the whole marketing strategy is a connection. It's really to see what, if you'll look at my social media, and you guys can look me up, it's just Dane Boyle. I'm like Sting and Cher and Beyonce, like it's just Dane.
Amanda Kaufman (11:57)
Yeah, they do.
Love it.
Justine.
Dane Boyle (12:24)
But it's a mixture of, me, or this is the free download, or whatever. But then it's my life. It's just sharing us having a cold beer in Rockport, Texas, because we have a place down there. It doesn't matter. But the idea is, every day I want to connect, and I want to invite. And I say, want to take my whisper to a roar so people know who I am.
And then it really is connection. So every day, Monday through Friday, I literally manually send to hundreds of people a daily Danish text. So it's my thoughts and I just take what talking to you might get my problem something. And this morning I usually send it out about 7 a.m. Central Standard Time. But I've actually taught live at 530 this morning. I went and met somebody this morning in person and I haven't sent it out. And the response was like, hey, I realized I missed that.
positivity every single morning. So to answer your question, it's a little mix. It's not you see those, you should have eight posts about X and then you should invite twice. Gary Vee says we should have like 30 pieces of content every single day. Like, so I just decided that and I also decided to be honest with you that I'm just gonna use Facebook as my own blog. I don't care. If you don't wanna read that I have so many paragraphs, then don't read it. But my people that will resonate.
Amanda Kaufman (13:41)
Yeah, mean, like, I think algorithms are supposed to be. So I'm a big systems thinker. So, you know, I'm like, yeah, I mean, like, you still have a system, right? You know, it's a daily commitment to sending the text. I imagine you have some kind of a system around how you gain permission for sharing the text and then some sort of a system to blast it out. Right. Like, so there's like system there. But I think where people get kind of twisted up.
Dane Boyle (13:57)
absolutely.
Amanda Kaufman (14:06)
is they are like, well, should I follow Dane's system of one text a day or should I follow Gary's system of 30 pieces of content per day? What should I do? What's right? What's good? What's you know? And I think that that's where you kind of lose it is is because it's like, well, actually, Gary Vee is probably arguably one of the most prolific relationship builders on social media. The method he used was posting prolifically over a long period of time.
Dane Boyle (14:12)
Right?
Amanda Kaufman (14:36)
And then he gets that compound effect of like so many millions of people raving about who Gary V is. I think that there's like, I think when you're choosing your system, a lot of it has to do with what is your authentic capacity at this time? because the thing about Gary is like Gary V has been doing his thing.
Dane Boyle (14:41)
Right.
Amanda Kaufman (14:58)
for a very long time, and he's made a lot of mistakes along the way. And but he's made enough big wins that he can predictably provide like roles, team members to follow him around and not just not just capture the content, but produce it and distribute it and do all of those kinds of things. And when you're a solopreneur, I mean, we all start somewhere.
Dane Boyle (15:00)
very long time.
Right.
Amanda Kaufman (15:25)
And I think the thing that people miss is that you can start with a really amazing system like you just shared of like, hey, here's my daily thoughts. And you can do that email. You could do that text. could, know, something I do is on my Instagram stories every morning. I share a motivational quote and, you know, so doing essentially the same thing. I'm just I'm putting in a different medium. And I think it's like choose the medium that works for you. Choose the capacity that you've got. And if you want to grow, if you want to go towards Gary Vee,
Dane Boyle (15:44)
All right.
Amanda Kaufman (15:55)
status then you need to have a process to review what is your new capacity because now that you've got like hundreds of people you're probably in a very different place than when you very first started that.
Dane Boyle (16:07)
100%. It was just an idea. And I said, hey, Amanda, may I text you? And you said yes or no. I tell them, look, I'm not going to take it personally. Because I do have even some of my own clients. Like, I just, it's just too much in the morning for me. I need to wake up, et cetera, et cetera. But, and it just, and then to be honest with I stopped doing it at one point because I wasn't getting the feedback I wanted. Because again, for me, it's relate.
Amanda Kaufman (16:27)
You did!
my gosh, this is one reason everybody stops. So tell me more about this story.
Dane Boyle (16:34)
Okay, so been doing it on and off. Danish hashtag was my first Twitter hashtag when I had literally, I don't know if any of us really know what we're doing on social media, we just do our best. then I just ran out and said, well, it's daily. Right, exactly. So again, love language, if you do five love language is quality time. So that's another reason I think relationships are so important to me. But literally I would text Amanda.
Amanda Kaufman (16:43)
We know what we're doing right now.
Dane Boyle (16:56)
you know, how many days in six months and she would never give me a thumbs up, never give me an emoji, never whatever the response was. I'm like, well, this is a damn waste of time. And I stopped doing it. And then I did like, but kind of like email, right? Don't we all want 100 % open rate? Like we want.
Amanda Kaufman (17:06)
So you had like resentment and some criticism for what you were doing, right? Yeah.
Yeah, and you know, it took mentorship for me to find out that actually, like when you go to scale, your open rate could drop down to as low as 10%. I'm like, what? You know?
Dane Boyle (17:27)
But maybe it's the right 10%.
Amanda Kaufman (17:29)
Well, yeah, or, you know, when they say at scale, they're also saying, like, because we throw a lot of money at advertising and collecting all the wrong leads that are counting in this and we don't have the discernment to organize our or segment our email list. And, you know, the most expensive advice you're ever going to get is bad advice. You know, just on that point, if you're getting like a 10 percent open rate and you are not spent, you are not.
Dane Boyle (17:50)
Yeah
Amanda Kaufman (17:56)
Collecting leads at a really high rate and testing a lot of ads something's wrong and you probably want to have an engagement and filtering process in your email To get your email open rates over 30 % I would say is a really good good kind of target for a coach, but I digress
Dane Boyle (18:14)
So because I've been able to, when I've been able to segment mine, I have one group that'll be 60 to 70 % at several hundred people, it's not thousands of people, but that group reads, and I was going back today, I'm like, okay, what did I offer in there? What are their click rates then? Is the next piece that I wanted to know. So they're reading the content, and I don't feel like I've really captured exactly what they're looking for. I mean, some are clients too, anyway. So go back to the texting. Go ahead. Yeah.
Amanda Kaufman (18:21)
Exactly.
You're perfectly describing the process of marketing, though, right? Like, because I think what I believed for a really long time, and I think the marketplace does a super crappy job of making it sound this way, is I always thought that there was like this silver bullet, this silver bullet system. Because, you've activated something in me. I'm not normally the system on a podcast.
Dane Boyle (18:59)
That's okay.
Amanda Kaufman (19:00)
But it's good. It's fine. It's nerdy. We like it. But what I learned later is that actually marketing is a skill and it's an iterative improvement process. So let's come back to your your doubts about the text messaging. You had judgment. You had rejection of yourself for having done this and it's a waste of time. So what happened next?
Dane Boyle (19:21)
Long story short, had a client who was actually leaving, like she was, she'd committed to a year and it was to help her mindset to get into medical school. And we'd done a lot of really, really good work. But then I asked Jennifer, when you're done, I continue the Daily Danish? Would you like that? She said yes, but then I just randomly stopped. And she just randomly texted me back, goes, I miss those so much. You have no idea. And that's the thing, we don't know who's reading them. Just like if they don't unsubscribe.
from your email, at least it says Amanda Kaufman X number of times, weeks, and they still see you. And you do then filter out. So I do some coaching too, like business coaching, and we'd set up a system, like, well, people are leaving. Okay, but all you're doing is pruning the trees, the people that stay.
are truly the people that want to hear your message. So long story short, was a client that told me you should do it. And there are still times, to be honest with you, that it'll be a Friday, I'm like, man, I haven't heard from anybody. I can tell the ones that resonate right away, because I get ding ding ding ding ding ding, and people respond. And I need to pay attention to that message style, I think, or whatever the message is. But I've just decided to do it. Go ahead.
Amanda Kaufman (20:13)
Exactly.
That's it. You know, I follow kind of a Pareto principle as I'm improving my stuff because like my reach has increased dramatically on like Facebook, Instagram and other socials. I'm still working on other channels, but the basic principle is this. look at, I document everything that I'm putting out there.
Dane Boyle (20:37)
Mm-hmm.
Amanda Kaufman (20:54)
And then, and by the way, this is super easy. If you have like a creator account on Facebook, for example, very easy to document it because they do it. They have a they have a whole creator dashboard. But when you have a record of like everything that you are doing, then you can actually measure over time. How does that?
Dane Boyle (21:03)
You
Amanda Kaufman (21:12)
Particular thing perform and if you don't have a creator account you can literally do it like you're doing it with like how many replies did I get if it's a text if it's a post on social media how many likes hearts how many comments right and just like measure that and then I practice this idea of top 10 bottom 10 percent So in a given month, let's say let's say that you were posting every day. What were the top three posts?
And what were the least successful three posts? And don't worry about the other, no, we're doing math in public, the other 24 posts in the month.
Dane Boyle (21:39)
Right.
Yeah.
Amanda Kaufman (21:46)
Right. Just like those other 24, they're in the middle of the bell curve. And what we're wanting to do is we're wanting to cut off the bottom and enhance the top of the bell curve. And over time, what happens is that your average performance shifts higher and higher. So, yeah, like I love your strategy there. So, Dane, what are three things that you think help a coach not to suck?
Dane Boyle (22:09)
Number one, think you have to invest in yourself first. think you have, so I call it head, hearts and health. So your mindset, your emotions and then your physical health. Because without those three being in some side of alignment, I don't think we can go chase our dreams. So I think that's number one. I think that we also should be mentored. I think we should have coaches. If you're asking people to hire you as a coach, you should look at whatever the next level is or maybe even two levels up. Where do you want to go and who can?
Amanda Kaufman (22:25)
Yeah.
Dane Boyle (22:39)
help you and then like you said I think you need to develop strategies over time if I could go back to when I first had my Google Drive I'd be a heck of a lot more organized does that make sense so I my creativity is content creation I love it I didn't know as a little boy that I was creative because I don't paint well I don't sing well but I can write and I can shoot videos and I can make people or help people believe in themselves
Amanda Kaufman (22:40)
Yeah.
Right?
Dane Boyle (23:06)
But now, because it's not as organized, in my new stuff in the last several years, has folders and all kinds of different things. But if there's still some content I think that I wrote back in the day that could be more modernized, that I have to kind of think, okay, I know I wrote something about X. And Google's pretty good about figuring out in your Google Drive or whatever what you wrote.
but you're like, that's not quite right. I go back a lot if I can't find something. I've been on Facebook 2007 or eight, right after it came out. It's like, I know I wrote something. So my sister's worked in electronic media.
Amanda Kaufman (23:32)
Yeah, me too.
Dane Boyle (23:38)
Since like 2000 and so anything like anything would come out she was in New York City You need to be on Facebook you need to know I'm not on Twitter now you need on Twitter You need you know all the all these different things so Again invest in your physical and mental emotional health to make sure that you can show up on days even when you don't want to
Amanda Kaufman (23:55)
Mm-hmm.
Dane Boyle (23:57)
Because even last week several of my trailblazers said, how are you with Tanya's surgery and you still have got clients and things like that. I'm just doing my thing. I still get up at four o'clock in the morning. I work out, I pray, I talk to my, I lost my dad 10 years ago. I tell him every day, I'm gonna try to make him proud. But in what, and I just literally took a nap. I don't usually take a nap, but I was like, you know what? I can sit at the computer. I'm not gonna be very productive for the next two hours. I'm gonna take a nap. But then I woke up for, didn't, I got up during the day, but next day I was fine.
Find that coach or mentor that can help you do it. Invest the money. there after the pandemic, the world opened back up.
my coach George, he had a retreat, had an event in Montana. And I kept saying, he wasn't my coach then, but I kept saying, I think I should go. I think I should go. And my wife was pretty much probably tired of me thinking I should go. So she got online, bought the ticket, she said, you gotta figure out how to get your butt there on the plane and your lodging, but you're gonna go. And so I've been to masterminds, I've been, but he's been in Texas, I've been all over, so invest in that. And then again,
just show up as your authentic self and be as organized as possible. And I think you said too is your systems are better today than they were when you started and be okay with that.
Amanda Kaufman (25:09)
Hell yeah, and my systems are different than they were because I'm in a different place. So when I very, very first started, I was such a hardcore introvert, like this conversation would not be a possibility at that time, right? But I was still, I was really good offline. It was really good one-on-one. just, had all these heebie-jeebies and fears about making relationships online.
Dane Boyle (25:16)
100 percent.
Yeah.
Amanda Kaufman (25:37)
So I had a different system then. And then the thing is, is that I built the skill and I built the capability to speak confidently online and to do video and to write. I invested heavily in learning how to do copywriting and how to have higher quality persuasive conversation without it being icky, because that was super important to me. And my capabilities grown, my capacity has grown.
Dane Boyle (25:52)
Right?
for sure.
Amanda Kaufman (26:04)
And my ambition has actually grown. So because of all of that, the system that worked to start is not the system that I use to scale or to grow. And I've even had scaling systems that I was so sure that that was going to be the thing that took us to the moon. And it was like a huge bust. And it's like, OK, sometimes when you're putting in those systems, even if you have a higher capacity or a higher desire or a higher capability,
Dane Boyle (26:08)
Right.
Amanda Kaufman (26:30)
There's no guarantee that everything is going to work exactly the way that you expect. And that's why that iterative approach to constantly learning and constantly optimizing and kind of right sizing your system to your capability capacity and ambition is really, important.
Dane Boyle (26:37)
Mm-hmm.
I always use the idea of the analogy that when you went to kindergarten or first grade you didn't know algebra.
Amanda Kaufman (26:51)
Yeah. my God, I had a chance just yesterday. My son, he homeschools and his dad was out of town yesterday. Dad is usually the learning coach. And thank goodness. I was like terrified because my son was like, I need help with math. And I was like, OK, I have an engineering degree and everything. that is like a bit like, what are we working on? Is it this new magic math that they teach? Like, am I going to even be able to help you?
Dane Boyle (27:11)
you
Right?
Amanda Kaufman (27:18)
And fortunately, it was unit conversion. I'm like, I did that for four and a half years in my engineering degree. No problem. Let's go, buddy. And it was just like, it was so awesome. But he was having a bit of a breakdown because they were asking him to like, they were teaching gratuity and prices and taxes and all that. And he had to add a lot of things up, do a bunch of multiplication and division to be able to get to the answer. And he was getting stressed. And I was like, dude, know, everything that you've been doing up to this point is preparing you.
Dane Boyle (27:21)
You
Amanda Kaufman (27:46)
for doing the next level and the next level is even better after this one. know, don't don't fail to confront the challenge man. So
Dane Boyle (27:51)
Right.
You talk about win or lose or pass or fail. I'll be like, how many of you made straight A's, K through 12, and then if you went to college or you went to trade school or whatever, well I sure as heck didn't do it, but I still have my master's degree, I still got it, I still showed up, and that's about that changing changing the systems. What's funny about your engineering, I was actually in.
Amanda Kaufman (28:11)
Sees get degrees, man.
Dane Boyle (28:17)
engineering assistant when I was active duty. So I did drafting and surveying. So I worked in civil. I didn't end up pursuing that line of education, but that's I did.
Amanda Kaufman (28:27)
That's really cool. Yeah, I did a chemical engineering degree and then moved into consulting right away. yeah, awesome. Dane, how can people catch up with you?
Dane Boyle (28:33)
Nice.
So I'm actually going to give you my phone number and you can connect with me on WhatsApp and then I will share with you Amanda a free five day course on how to find your why. Because even as business owners we need to know why we are showing up for other people. Whether you're selling t-shirts or you're selling some kind of personal business coaching or whatever that looks like. When you know why you're getting up every day I want you to jump out of bed like a kid on Christmas morning and be excited about doing it.
Okay, so little you can text me at 830-837-8045 I don't farm that out. I do have a VA, but I answer all of those messages. I answer all of my emails. Okay, I do I get help in the back office and and posting and all those type of things, but it's it's me and then like I said Amanda, there'll be a five day course.
and there'll be some follow-up emails, but the idea is I want you to know why you chose to be an entrepreneur, because we all get in thinking we're gonna have all this great free time, we're all gonna be bazillionaires. oftentimes you realize there really are seven days a week, and there are potentially 24 hours a day if you're not careful.
If you're not careful. And the very first podcast I was on many, many, many years ago, and they always ask what advice would you give yourself? I said I would have created a schedule. Because I...
Amanda Kaufman (29:42)
Mm-hmm.
Say it louder for the people in the back. Yes.
Dane Boyle (29:54)
If I thought I was a, I would have created a schedule because I thought because I was so available that it would be great. But then people don't necessarily value your time. And then all of a sudden you're on a trip and you're, well nowadays it's you're all on your phone and you're doing different things. And it's like my office hours are X Y. And I do have East Coast and West Coast and I'm in central time zone. So I balance that out, but I create a schedule and sometimes to be honest with you,
I tell my clients, the trailblazers, hey, Tonya and I are going somewhere and I'm just not, I'm gonna be dark for three days. You know what they usually say? Good. They say good.
Amanda Kaufman (30:31)
Yeah, exactly. I was I was so afraid of time blocking because in a prior life, I was very conditioned that hyper availability was equivalent to value. And it's it's just not it's really not like it's the quality of the interactions that you have and the value that you're that you're providing in those awesome interactions. And again, your capacity grows as you continue to develop your systems and develop your your team and schedule is like a super basic system that most people ignore these days and they
Dane Boyle (30:39)
Right?
It's just not.
Sure.
Amanda Kaufman (31:01)
they just would rather chase notifications around. And it's like, honey, your dreams deserve more than that dopamine hit. Like they really, really, really do.
Dane Boyle (31:09)
They really, really, really do. They really, really do.
Amanda Kaufman (31:11)
I love it. Well, Dane, thank you so much for joining and listener. Be sure to subscribe and do us a favor. Leave a review and leave Dane five stars. He did a great job. He really showed up awesomely. It'll help others find the podcast and find this episode. And we really appreciate you taking the time to do that. Also, go ahead and share this episode with three of your friends. If you've got three friends that are trailblazing, that are building a business and they want to have way more confidence in the connections that they are making.
Dane Boyle (31:22)
Thank you!
Yeah
Amanda Kaufman (31:42)
This is a great episode to share with them and thank you so much for joining. Thanks, Dane
Dane Boyle (31:48)
It was my pleasure, I look forward to doing it again sometime.
Amanda Kaufman (31:51)
Yeah, yeah, exactly. We gotta have you back. is too good. This is fire. All right, y'all have a great one and we'll see you in the next episode.
