What It Really Takes to Scale Without Losing Yourself

One of the biggest fears women founders have is that their business will grow faster than they can handle, and that success will come at the cost of their health, identity, or joy. Many entrepreneurs start their business with excitement and passion, only to find themselves overwhelmed, stretched thin, and wondering how something they dreamed about has become something that feels heavy to carry. The truth is that scaling a business does not have to mean losing yourself. But it does require intention, honesty, and a willingness to look at how the business is built.

In my conversation with Cari Kenzie, we talked about what scaling truly demands from founders and why so many women unintentionally build businesses that depend on them far more than they should. We also explored how alignment, clarity, and vulnerability play a central role in creating a company that is both successful and sustainable.

Why You Must Think About Scale Sooner Than You Think

Most people start a business with the focus on getting clients, getting visible, and getting revenue in the door. They do not think about structure or exit or leadership or what they want the business to look like when it is bigger. But that early stage is exactly when those conversations should be happening.

When you do not think about scale early on, you unintentionally build a business that requires you to be present in every function. You become the decision maker, the delivery mechanism, the visionary, and the operator. You become the glue that holds everything together. The business grows, but it grows around you. And eventually, that becomes a trap.

This is not because founders do anything wrong. It is because early strategy often focuses more on survival than design. But if you want a business that grows without draining you, you have to shift from asking how to get more clients to asking how the business runs without you being the center of everything.

Why Founders Burn Out Even When They Are Successful

Cari made something very clear. Many founders hit burnout not because the business is failing, but because it is succeeding. Growth reveals gaps. Growth stretches systems. Growth exposes everything that is dependent on the founder.

As women, we often take pride in being able to carry a lot. We know how to multitask, how to push through, and how to get things done. But the strength that helps us build the business in the beginning can become the very thing that exhausts us later. Just because you can do everything does not mean you should. When you do everything, you eventually forget how to step away.

Burnout comes when the business grows but the structure does not. When the expectations increase but the support does not. When the revenue climbs but the profit and the freedom do not.

Scaling Requires Letting Go of the “Shoulds”

One of the most empowering things Cari shared was the reminder that you already know the step to take. You already know what needs to change. What gets in the way is the pressure to follow what you think you should do based on other people’s expectations.

When you start making decisions from what you believe others want from you, you disconnect from your own clarity. You lose the instinct that guided you in the first place. Coming back into alignment is what gives you the ability to make clean, confident decisions again. When you align with your values and your vision, the next step becomes obvious.

Scaling is not about forcing yourself into someone else’s model. It is about strengthening the relationship you have with your own inner guidance.

The Power of Vulnerability in the Scaling Process

Many founders think they need to be strong, polished, or certain to scale. But the truth is that vulnerability plays a powerful role in creating a business that actually supports you. Vulnerability is not about weakness. It is about honesty. It is about giving yourself permission to grow in a way that feels aligned and sustainable.

When you allow yourself to be vulnerable, you reconnect to your original passion. You give yourself space to admit what is not working. You allow yourself to receive support. You create clarity by telling the truth about what you want and what you no longer want to carry. That is where ease begins.

Scaling with ease does not mean the work is easy. It means you stop fighting yourself. You stop building around what you think you should be and start building around who you really are.

Why You Need Support You Can Trust

At some point in growth, every founder needs an honest, outside perspective. When you are inside your business every day, it becomes hard to see what is missing or what needs to shift. You know your business better than anyone, but you also know it so well that blind spots form.

Getting support does not mean you are failing. It means you are leading. It means you understand that your business is bigger than your personal capacity. It means you are ready to build something that is not held up by your energy alone.

Founders who scale sustainably are founders who allow themselves to be supported.

Scaling Without Losing Yourself Is Completely Possible

The key to scaling without losing yourself is understanding that the business is not supposed to be built around you forever. The business should support you, not consume you. It should grow with you, not demand more than you can give. It should open your life, not shrink it.

Scaling without losing yourself requires alignment. It requires clarity. It requires honesty about what you want and what you are ready to release. It requires acknowledging that growth is not about doing more, but about building something that no longer requires you to hold every piece of it.

When you trust yourself, when you let go of the pressure to meet everyone else’s expectations, and when you allow vulnerability to guide your clarity, scaling becomes something that strengthens you instead of draining you.

You are not meant to lose yourself in your business. You are meant to become more of yourself through it.

Chapters List

00:00 Opening and Cari’s Background

01:18 Why Women Need to Plan Their Exit Early

03:02 How Businesses Become Dependent on the Founder

04:44 What Causes Founders to Burn Out

06:10 The Truth About Revenue vs Profit

07:58 How to Build a Business That Creates Freedom

10:12 The Role of Outside Support in Scaling

12:30 Knowing When It Is Time to Change Direction

14:55 Stepping Into a Healthier, Aligned Leadership Style

Full Transcript

Cari Kenzie (00:00)

you don't need another strategy and you don't need somebody's permission. You need to start listening to everything that you have inside of you. Because you already know the step to take.

Amanda Kaufman (00:06)

there.

Well, hey, hey, welcome back to the Amanda Kaufman show. And I am so excited to introduce you to Cari Kenzie, who is the founder of Kinza, a leadership advisory firm helping high capacity women founders and executives build alignment, transferable value and freedom in every phase of business, especially in the transition from success to significance.

She's a former CEO who scaled and exited a multimillion dollar company and Cari brings a rare blend of entrepreneurial experience, energetic intelligence and strategic precision to her work. Through kinds of frameworks like exit by design and the leadership reframe, she guides leaders to lead with soul, scale with fun and protect the legacy of what they built without losing themselves in the process. Welcome to the show.

Cari Kenzie (01:21)

Hey, thank you very much. I love your energy. let's do this.

Amanda Kaufman (01:23)

I'm sorry. Likewise, likewise,

very mutual. know, Keri, when I was looking at your website and getting to know you even better as we were preparing for this show,

So as I was looking over your website and getting ready for the show, I just kept thinking, I wish I met you before I ever started my business. And I'm sure you've probably heard that or something like that before from other female entrepreneurs. And I'll just tell you, like for me, it was like, things that I would have put in place in the very beginning that I now have to go back to do in order.

to feel peace. It's almost like when you buy a house and you let things kind of get into a lot of disrepair. So, Keri, what is one question that you wish more entrepreneurs would ask you, but they don't?

Cari Kenzie (02:14)

Oh my gosh, the question I wish they would ask me, ah, I'm always like the question I wish they would ask themselves. Gosh, you know the question I wish they would ask me is like you said, I wish I had me in the beginning. So the best question for me is always what is it I need to know that I don't know? What am I not planning for? Because.

Amanda Kaufman (02:31)

Mm.

And what do you

find is typically missing? Like, what is it that we don't know?

Cari Kenzie (02:41)

specifically for women founders, we don't think about the exit. We don't think about the exit. We get so focused in the everyday. We're building the business, we're doing the things. We don't take a look at where is this going? Like what is the ultimate goal when I get to that place of I wanna step away from my business, I wanna transition out, I need to build the team to take over.

Amanda Kaufman (02:44)

Yeah, typically. They just don't think about the exit.

Cari Kenzie (03:07)

the freedom that I got into this business to have, like I want to experience that. We don't think about how to get to that place.

Amanda Kaufman (03:16)

You know, I can, the thing that came up for me with that is I was like, you know, I was so busy worried about whether I could even start, you know, like when I very first began, because I came out of corporate America and I'm like, the only thing that I really, really want to be, I really, want to get paid for is like being a coach. That sounds amazing. You know, I want to do something that's more specialized in my, in my zone of genius.

Cari Kenzie (03:34)

Yeah.

Amanda Kaufman (03:39)

And I remember at the time, my main consuming thought was like, is this even possible? Like, can we even do this thing? So I know for me, that was probably one of the big reasons why I wasn't thinking about the end is because I was so consumed with the beginning. But you what happens is eventually you do start. So if somebody was to raise awareness to how important it is to think about the end as close to the beginning as possible, like,

What are some of those things that they can start practicing right away?

Cari Kenzie (04:09)

I think start practicing not having yourself be the center of the business from the beginning. When we don't think about the end, if we don't have exit as a business strategy while we're building the business, all we're doing is building ourselves a job.

Amanda Kaufman (04:14)

Okay, yeah.

Yeah, yeah. With like a worse boss because then, you know, you never get time off, right? You're not paid enough. ⁓

Cari Kenzie (04:27)

So that's the...

You never get time off, right? Your expectations are so high that it's like, are

you ever going to be able to reach them? And that's what we do. When I built my first organization, the best thing I ever did was hire somebody to come alongside me. I, as female founders, we feel like we can do it all because we can. Problem is when we feel like we can do it all and we can, then we do and we forget to step away.

and we forget that somebody else can come alongside and that it's possible for us to be able to receive the support so that we can take the vacation, take the day off, not work 60, 70 hours a week. Of course, in the beginning, that's what we're doing. We're building, we're passionate. It's not a problem. It becomes a problem when over time you have built a system that is built on you.

Amanda Kaufman (05:23)

Yeah, big time. And you know, I still remember the day that I had that aha moment of like, Amanda, you're not an entrepreneurial coach or you're not a coach. You are an architect of a business that is outside of you. And you happen to be providing the coaching services inside of this company. And that's actually what led me to creating the brand, The Coach's Plaza.

Cari Kenzie (05:40)

Yes.

Amanda Kaufman (05:46)

You know, so I'm at a stage in my business where I am still largely, you know, doing a lot of doing and providing a lot of the expertise. But I made the decision to have a a logo style brand about five, six years ago. And the whole reason why is it's like I knew that I had to be where I was. You know, like you said, when you're building, you've got to you got to build and there's going to be different phases when you're perhaps pivoting the business where you're still really building, which is where I am right now.

Cari Kenzie (05:50)

Yes.

Amanda Kaufman (06:14)

But it is always with that intention of like, at some stage, the business needs to either change hands, or it needs to be absorbed by a different business, or it needs to, you know, wind down. But who wants to intentionally wind something down that you put so much of your life force into? Like, why take all that risk? Why have all that burden, you know?

Cari Kenzie (06:37)

Here's two things that come up for me when you say that. As business owners, as coaches, if you have stepped into a business as a coach and you're like, this is what I wanna do, and that's it, I just want to coach. You still have to be thinking of the end in mind, okay? Because if that end is not a transition of a sale, it's not a transition to a leadership team, it is just simply a transition into your what's next, then you need to be a.

and strategic about how you're saving and pulling funds in order to be able to have that to land on when that exit comes. So that's one thing as a business owner, be sure that you're looking at that throughout the course of your business. 50 % of exits come without warning. Okay, they come because of burnout, they distress, there's a disagreement, there's a divorce. That's how most exits happen.

Amanda Kaufman (07:10)

Mmm. So good.

Mmm. ⁓

Cari Kenzie (07:30)

They are, you're blindsided. And when that comes, have you prepared for it? That's the question. So you either prepare by building a business that can scale, that can sell or transition, or you build a business that funds you in the process, you're setting that aside. You've got an investment maker, a wealth advisor who's helping you to be able to curate and build that so that if that exit comes, you know that you're protected and taken care

Amanda Kaufman (07:55)

I think that's actually one of the biggest myths in the coaching industry. And I know I definitely got bit by that bug, which was, yeah, you know, there's all these seven figure coaches that lure you, you know, into the, into this world, so to speak. And I was like fighting hard tooth and nail to be like, okay, got to figure out what are all the things that make you a seven figure business? What makes you a seven figure coach? And, um, as it turns out most coaching businesses, yeah, fast forward to the punchline part.

Cari Kenzie (08:20)

Yeah.

Right?

Amanda Kaufman (08:25)

It is a cash flowing vehicle and I didn't have the financial education or awareness when I very first started and I noticed most coaches really don't. They don't have the... It's not a question of intelligence, it's actually more of a question of exposure. Have you had the exposure to people like yourself who understand the language of business, the language of finance, the language of strategy? And I gotta tell you, for me, I was like...

Cari Kenzie (08:39)

Yes.

Amanda Kaufman (08:50)

really disappointed in myself for a while because I was like, well, I'm a, I was a strategist at a big firm. know what strategy is, but that doesn't necessarily mean that, you're always working with the best information. And so when I realized like the goal wasn't too big, was not to build this big balloon of a coaching business per se, it could be like you said, simply a cashflow vehicle. And those can be really lean, mean.

Cari Kenzie (09:13)

Yes.

Amanda Kaufman (09:15)

awesome little businesses, they don't have a lot of sale value, but you can actually generate a huge amount of, you know, profit through that method. But then you have to pair it with financial education to your point. Like you have to understand that, that there is a long game. How do you help people see this? Right? Cause like, I think, I can't remember not being told that that didn't make a lot of sense. Hopefully you're following listeners. But

Cari Kenzie (09:24)

Yes.

You too.

you

Amanda Kaufman (09:44)

There wasn't a time in my life where I didn't hear something like, stay for retirement, have a 401k. And when I was in Canada, it was an RSP, know, like, save for the future. I got that advice. I think everybody gets that advice. And yet most people find themselves making decisions that like ignore that, you know? So it's like around us all the time, but we still don't do the planning. So what is, what is something that you

like to lead your clients through in terms of how to think both in the long term and the short.

Cari Kenzie (10:18)

Well, that's where you've really got to sit when I'm sitting with clients. I want to understand like what is that future for you? And I don't care if it's I'm going to stay in this business and I want to be in it for 15, 20 years. That's awesome.

When you retire, what do you want that to look like? And then can we start talking about the wealth? We're all building into something. You step into being an entrepreneur or a business owner because you want more freedom, you want more flexibility, and you want the ability to create the income and to have no ceiling to it. I can create whatever it is I want to create. That's awesome. So if you're doing that, you're doing that for a reason. You're trying to get somewhere. Where's that somewhere you're trying to get? Now let's take that and let's

to back it up. And if we look at it today and we see where you're at today versus where you want to be, this is your gap. How are you going to get there? And let's get strategic around some of the different ways that you can pull those levers. And if that means that I need to you start to look at your business and go, this is amazing.

I'm not going to take every dollar I make and seep it back into the business because I have to take some profit first and I've got to put that aside. This is why those multimillion dollar coaching businesses, right? Look at the PLNL on the back end.

Amanda Kaufman (11:21)

Yes.

Cari Kenzie (11:28)

and how much revenue versus how much am I soaking back into the business? I hear that so often from clients, right? I built a million dollar coaching business and I'm not making much on the back end of it because I'm soaking everything back in, okay? Well, we got to get a little bit more strategic around how we're playing things out, right?

Amanda Kaufman (11:42)

to get strategic.

I think

that's the thing, know, especially in a coaching business. I've had quite unfortunately, you know, I didn't get to seven figures, but I did see like that. It's kind of like to describe this to you listener. When I, I scaled my business too fast that I, that I, like she said, like all the money just ends up warping right back in to the business. Think of it kind of like you've got

these frequencies of all the different things that are going on in your business and just imagine that they're all components that are all working together. And so I describe it kind of like an engine that doesn't have its timing right. It starts like knocking around and overheating and it could push a rod and fail at any time. And luckily we had the support of a similar expert to Kerry who helped us to recognize that we weren't doing a good job of

understanding the attribution of our effort and i.e. how much money we were putting towards advertising and sales teams and all these things that were supposed to create more freedom and create more time. And we ended up having to make crazy difficult decisions just as Kerry's describing, ⁓ including and up to firing family members. But we had to, you know, we had to kind of like bring things back.

Cari Kenzie (12:56)

Mm-hmm.

Mm.

Amanda Kaufman (13:04)

down to a peaceful place where the frequency wasn't as high and even if there was some knocking around, we could fix it, right? So that we have this foundation that we could then grow from, which is where we are today. Cari, I have to imagine that when you're working with people, they have, I know for me, like when I finally asked for help from someone like you, I was so scared to do it because I knew that it was a mess.

Cari Kenzie (13:18)

Yeah.

Amanda Kaufman (13:34)

And I knew that I had done some things, including like, knew about Profit First, I knew all about Profit First, and I could just see where I had betrayed myself the whole time. And so, not the whole time, but I'll be a little more generous to myself. But the point is, I just feel like lot of entrepreneurs need to understand and to hear why it's important to maybe work with a third party to at least take a look at

Cari Kenzie (13:34)

Yeah.

Amanda Kaufman (14:02)

Because I know I was so hesitant and if I had engaged my consultant nine months before I did I would have been in a very different position. Yeah.

Cari Kenzie (14:11)

Yeah, yeah.

it's, and I love that you say that too, because I think too often we end up, it's like you know. Here's the thing that I would say to anybody who's listening, like you already know. If you, you do, come on, we already already know. We simply are looking for either somebody to help us escape the knowing or somebody to give us permission to step into it. Those are the two things that we're looking for. The scariest part is bringing somebody on board who's going to

push you into it, okay? Because it is, and I did have a client say this, she's like, it's kind of like I'm lifting up my skirt, right? You're getting back and you're seeing everything behind the curtain. It is so intimate. Yes, right? However, if you wanna stay in the knowing that is sitting and just like tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, the time without making any effort towards it, it will come up and it will smack you at some point, okay?

Amanda Kaufman (14:45)

It's intimate. It's like every stupid thing you did.

Cari Kenzie (15:05)

Or you can just step in and go, you know what, I'm human. Because let me tell you right now, I've done all the same things. Okay? I had the mess that was behind the scenes. And that's why I do what I do now. Because I needed me back then. Right? So what you're offering by stepping out and allowing yourself the vulnerability is to finally come back into an alignment with what it is you do, with the passion of where you want to be.

and to allow that to happen in a place of ease. Period. That's all you're doing. It's vulnerability to find clarity. It's vulnerability to step forward and finally get the thing that you have desired the entire time. The reason you stepped into the business to begin with.

Amanda Kaufman (15:45)

Yeah, that's so true. I mean, like coming out of that experience, personally, I learned something about learning, which is like, I've now made this distinction of there's learning in the sense of like, knowing in the sense of consuming information, like you have data. And then there's like learning in the sense of applied knowledge. And that is a different thing. And so often, especially in today's age,

Cari Kenzie (15:57)

Yes.

Yeah.

Yes, it is.

Amanda Kaufman (16:10)

that's consuming a lot of content such as this fabulous podcast. So please keep listening. But we consume so much and we get so many voices knocking around in our head about how you're supposed to do things. And it creates, I think, a huge dissonance, right? Because you start drowning in all these shoulds and coulds and woulds and, you know, but

Cari Kenzie (16:13)

Yeah.

Yes.

It does.

Yes.

Amanda Kaufman (16:31)

at the same time, there's so much pressure for a business owner, coaches, non-coaches, any business owner, you don't want to be seen bleeding. You don't want to be seen suffering and you don't want, right? Because like that's just super off putting to new business. So you got to keep it together somehow. I did learn though, is those two types of learning. I think the reason why the applied learning is so hard and I'd love your take on this is because in order to actually change your behavior,

Cari Kenzie (16:54)

Thank

Amanda Kaufman (16:58)

you have to admit that you were wrong. And I think humans want to be right more than anything. Now you can tell me I'm wrong about that, but I know from my own experience, that was probably like the, I have to humble myself by admitting that I was wrong.

Cari Kenzie (17:12)

Yeah.

Well, and that's where it's not that you were ever wrong. So let me just place that out there, right? Because that's where people, there's a blame and a shame that we take on the moment we think we've done something wrong. You didn't do anything wrong. You did everything you could with the information you had in that particular moment. Now, now you know something different. And in that knowing something different, you have already grown. So what you're doing is you're

Amanda Kaufman (17:17)

So thank

That's absolutely fair, right? Yeah. Yeah.

I love that distinction.

Cari Kenzie (17:39)

allowing somebody else to come in and walk alongside you and you're showing them like, here's the mess. Here's the, what do we need to do to clean this up? Right? Because I know this happened. What do we need to do to clean this up? So I think if we can start looking at it that way, as opposed to I was wrong, but I did what I knew to do in the moment. I now know better. I now know that something needs to shift. That is the thing that's going to bring you closer back to that wisdom that sits inside.

Amanda Kaufman (17:48)

Absolutely.

Okay.

Cari Kenzie (18:06)

I say all the time, you don't need another strategy. Sorry, you don't. Go to another conference, sit in another room, it's perfectly fine. But you don't need another strategy and you don't need somebody's permission. You need to start listening to everything that you have inside of you. Because you already know the step to take.

Amanda Kaufman (18:19)

there.

Cari Kenzie (18:20)

You already know the thing to do. You just stopped listening to yourself when you started shoulding based on everybody else's expectation. When you come back into alignment, you will get a kind of clarity that you will just intuitively know the next step to take.

Amanda Kaufman (18:28)

Yeah, absolutely.

I love it. That's so good, Cari. Thank you so much for being here on the show today. Before we let you go anywhere though, how do we keep in touch with you?

Cari Kenzie (18:43)

So the best way to find me is going to be on LinkedIn. LinkedIn, you're going to be able to find Kinza, and you can also find Kerry Kinsey.

Amanda Kaufman (18:51)

Amazing and dear listener if you prefer other channels or if you just want to go straight to her website We'll make sure we have all of those links in the show notes below Cari Thank you so much for joining me on the show and having such a beautiful candid conversation today

Cari Kenzie (19:05)

gosh, thanks, this was amazing. I appreciate you.

Amanda Kaufman (19:08)

I appreciate you right back. And listener, if you appreciated this, I'm sure you've got three friends who would also love to hear what Cari had to share about setting your business up for success from the beginning all the way through to the end. So grab the link to this episode. Go ahead and text it, email it, send it in a carrier pigeon wallet or whatever that is. I don't know how carrier pigeons send their messages, but the point is you should share it with somebody. And, know, if you're really loving the show, you may just want to stop by and give us a little review.

Keep it honest, but we really appreciate any positive reviews that we get because it helps people decide whether they want to spend their precious time consuming our show. Thank you so much for being here and we'll be back with another episode very shortly. Don't miss it. Hit subscribe if you haven't already and we will see you again soon. Until then, do what matters.